Indulging in colors

Today I wore (from top to bottom):

Obnoxiously yellow cardigan sweater
Bright green sleeveless top
My new old red coat
Pink and white houndstooth pencil skirt
Turquoise tights
Yellow flats

When the young lady handing out food samples at the grocery store this evening told me that she loved my outfit (“You are an inspiration!” she said), I was thrilled. She was so kind!

Life’s too short to wear boring clothes. I like to treat every day like it’s a costume party. I have mastered the art of matching black with brown (or brown with navy blue), and now I’m dabbling in Extreme! Color! and it’s a lot of fun.

America’s New Lost Generation

During the most recent Presidential election in the United States I got to thinking that regardless of who won it was going to take years, even decades to pick up the pieces of destruction left by the outgoing Bush administration. This idea has become more evident to me one year into Obama’s term. I’m not really disappointed with what Obama and the Democratic majority in Congress has done or not done in the last year. It would take an incredible amount of daring, visionary leadership to start fixing America’s problems, not just from one politician, but from a whole gaggle of them. That’s something I just don’t expect from most politicians. I hope for it because I always hope for the best, but I know it’s not going to be forthcoming any time soon.

Nevertheless I am glad that Obama is the President instead of McCain. At the very least I expect the harm Obama’s administration can do to this country will be much less than the harm a McCain administration would have inflicted.

So here we are in 2010, a year that sounds like a science fiction year. I am 31 years old, jobless, having daily anxiety attacks about just getting by. I haven’t had a job since March of last year, and I routinely receive rejection letters that reference the pool of 200+ candidates with above average credentials from which the institution had to choose. I am trembling under a heavy load of student loan, credit card and medical debts. In the past few weeks my body has been learning what going to bed slightly hungry every night feels like, and one of my daughters came to me the other night worriedly asking if we were going to have to live on the street sometime soon.

Yes, I pity myself. It’s oddly comforting to hear the new jobless statistics released in the past week. I know my situation is not unusual. Indeed a shocking number within my own extended circle of friends and acquaintances have similar struggles weighing them down – student loan debts, credit card debts, lack of employment opportunities, reduced wages, impossible healthcare situations. I know a lot of bright, motivated, hardworking people who are heavily educated but can’t find an opportunity to prove their talents.

If things continue in this vein for much longer, I fear America’s 20- and 30-somethings will become a new Lost Generation. What kind of damage is being wrought on the lifetime earnings of people who can’t even climb onto the first rung of a career ladder despite their qualifications?

I was thinking this while driving home from dropping the kids off at school this morning. When I got home I looked on the Internet to see if other people are thinking along these lines as well. Well, yes, they are. They even use the same term I was thinking of. The tagline of the article is

The continuing job crisis is hitting young people especially hard—damaging both their future and the economy

The article reflects on the issue the same way that I have been. It focuses on 20-somethings, but in my experience this trend is hitting people in their 30s as well. The situation is very discouraging, to say the least.

So what can we do?

It seems that we as a generation will not reach a level of financial security that the generations recently before us could reach. As individuals, we must look to other means of security. I’m developing my own security in community, simple pleasures, and meditative activities. I’m seeing my peers value a “less is more” life aesthetic, turning to the handmade and homemade. I hope to see more exchange of local goods, with an emphasis on economy at a human level. I’m starting this year clinging to the credo “Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.” My word for the year is “joy,” which I find creeping into many of my conversations. Some aspects of this evolving lifestyle change I am nurturing in myself include:

- Simple whole foods cooked simply and shared with others because food tastes better when it’s real, and it tastes even better when shared. Another benefit is that it is less expensive; a giant pot of potato soup costs the same or less than a meal eaten out of colorful boxes and disposable trays and can last for several meals.

- Pleasure in the mundane. There is joy to be had in consciously living through the days. Clean sheets, the stars at night, warm showers, proximity to love, the satisfaction of owning my own power drill – these little things count.

- Productive waiting. For example my hands have been constantly knitting the past few months. I knit when socializing with friends, and I knit when I am at home because I can’t afford to go anywhere. It is a meditative activity that results in useful objects.

- Spreading kindness and discouraging negativity. I love the calm happiness that results from genuine smiles to all around me. I have less patience now for disrespectful or unpleasant behavior in others. I choose to give and receive goodness. I don’t have time for selfishness and anger.

As I reflect on my future and the future of the people I care about, I sense that the values and habits of the past few generations will not be relevant to us. Things will not be the same as they were, and we will have to choose different values and live accordingly. The success that I was hoping for when I was younger was moderate, and included the ability to keep a savings account, to own a small home for my family, and to take vacations every so often. I was never expecting wealth and fame. It is a desolation to me that my hopes get smaller every year. But this is where we are, and this is what we’ve got to work with.

In parting, I wish you peace in your struggles and joy in your days. All of you. Yes, even you George Bush.

Oh Toast, you are delicious

From Toast

If I were actively building a winter wardrobe, it would look something like this. Thankfully for my pocketbook, Toast is a British retailer, and it is much easier to resist online shopping if international postage is involved.

No words

From the Transportation Security Administration:

Traveling with Crematory Remains

We understand how painful losing a loved one is, and we respect anyone traveling with crematory remains. Passengers are allowed to carry a crematory container as part of their carry-on luggage, but the container must pass through the X-ray machine. If the container is made of a material that generates an opaque image and prevents the Transportation Security Officer from clearly being able to see what is inside, then the container cannot be allowed through the security checkpoint.

Out of respect to the deceased and their family and friends, under no circumstances will an officer open the container even if the passenger requests this be done. Documentation from the funeral home is not sufficient to carry a crematory container through security and onto a plane without screening.

You may transport the urn as checked baggage provided that it is successfully screened. We will screen the urn for explosive materials/devices using a variety of techniques; if cleared, it will be permitted as checked baggage only.

Some airlines do not allow cremated remains as checked baggage so please check with your air carrier before attempting to transport a crematory container in checked baggage.

No surprises in my record collection

More CDs for sale…
Should you want any of these and send money to me, either by personal check or Paypal, I will mail them to you. Email me first at rsdchen@gmail.com

They will be $3 for the first CD and $2 for each additional CD. No charge for shipping in the United States. I’ll do international shipping at cost.

Marion – This World and Body – London
Me Me Me – Hanging Around – Indolent
Elizabeth Mitchell – You Are My Flower
Morrissey – November Spawned A Monster – EMI
Morrissey – My Love Life – Sire/Reprise
Morrissey – Vauxhall and I – Sire/Reprise
Moving Pictures – Joie de vivre – Shelflife
New Order – Video 5-8-6 – Touch Tone
New Order – Regret – Qwest
Oasis – Masterplan – Epic
Oasis – Be Here Now – Epic
Oasis – Definitely Maybe – Epic
the Ocean Blue – Cerulean – Sire/Reprise
OMD – Sugar Tax – Virgin
Origami – Please Exit Quietly – 555
Pale Sunday – A Weekend with Jane – Matinee
Palomar – Revenge of Palomar – Self-Starter
Pavement – Slanted and Enchanted – Matador
the Peechees – Do the Math – Kill Rock Stars
Lee Perry – Introducing – Caribbean
Phoebe Quest – The Windward Sound – Shelflife
Pipas – A Cat Escaped – Matinee
the Pixies – Death To the Pixies – Elektra
Pizzicato Five – London-Paris-Tokyo – Nippon Columbia
Pizzicato Five – Music Is Organized By Sound – Matador
Portishead – Sour Times (Nobody Loves Me) – Go!
Portishead – s/t – Go!
Postal Blue – Weather Sensitive – Shelflife
Postal Blue – International Breeze – Shelflife
the Postal Service – Give Up – Sub Pop
Pulp – Party Hard – CD 1 – Island
Pulp – This Is Hardcore single – CD 2 – Island
Pulp – Help the Aged – Island
Pulp – Mis-Shapes & Sorted For E’s & Wiz – CD 2 – Island
Pulp – Disco 2000 – CD 1 – Island
Pulp – Disco 2000 – CD 2 – Island
Pulp – Something Changed – Girl CD – Island
Pulp – Something Changed – Boy CD – Island
Pulp – Common People – CD 1 – Island
Pulp – Common People – CD 2 – Island
Pulp – Common People ‘96 – Island
Pulp – Lipgloss – Island
Pulp – My Legendary Girlfriend – Fire
Radiohead – Karma Police – CD 1 – EMI
Radiohead – Paranoid Android – CD 1 and 2 – EMI
Radiohead – The Bends – EMI
R.E.M. – Document – IRS
R.E.M. – Green – Warner Bros.
R.E.M. – Monster – Warner Bros.
R.E.M. – Out Of Time – Warner Bros.
R.E.M. – Reveal – Warner Bros.
the Real Tuesday Weld – The Meteorology of Love – Bambini
Loud Reed – Walk On the Wild Side (Best of) – BMG
Remember Fun – Train Journeys – Matinee
Rialto – Untouchable – East West
Rialto – Dream Another Dream – East West
Ride – Carnival Of Light – Sire/Reprise
Ride – Vapour Trail – Sire/Reprise
River – s/t – Shelflife
the Rolling Stones – Exile on Main Street – Rolling Stones
the Rolling Stones – Big Hits (High Tide and Green Grass) – London
Rye Coalition – Hee Saw Dhuh Kaet – Gern Blandsten
Saint Etienne – So Tough – Warner Bros.
Saint Etienne – Finisterre – Mantra
Saint Etienne – Tiger Bay – Warner Bros.
Satisfact – The Third Meeting At the Third Counter – K
Schumacher – Fidicin Drones – Colorful Clouds for Acoustics
Seam – Are You Driving Me Crazy? – Touch and Go
the Sex Pistols – Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols – Warner Bros.
DJ Shadow – High Noon – Mo Wax
DJ Shadow – Midnight In A Perfect World – Mo Wax
DJ Shadow – Midnight In A Perfect World/The Number Song – Mo Wax
the Shermans – Casual – Shelflife
the Shermans – Happiness Is Toy Shaped – Shelflife
the Shermans – In Technicolor – Shelflife
Sleater-Kinney – Off With Your Head – Kill Rocks Stars
Sleater-Kinney – All Hands On the Bad One – Kill Rock Stars
Sleater-Kinney – Dig Me Out – Kill Rock Stars
Sleater-Kinney – The Hot Rock – Kill Rock Stars
Sleater-Kinney – One Beat – Kill Rock Stars
Sleater-Kinney – Sub Pop
Sleeper – Statuesque – CD 2 – Indolent
Sleeper – The It Girl – Arista
Sleeper – Smart – Indolent
Slipside – Four Day Weekend – Matinee
Slipside – The World Can Wait – Matinee
Sloan – Smeared – DGC
Sodastream – A Minor Revival – Microindie
South Ambulance – s/t – Labrador
Souvenir – s/t – Shelflife
Souvenir – Points de suspension – Shelflife
Ronnie Spector – She Talks To Rainbows – Kill Rock Stars
The Steinbecks – Branches and Fronds Brushing the Windows – Microindie
Stereo Total – Monokini – Bungalow
the Stone Roses – Second Coming
Suburban Kids With Biblical Names – #1 – Labrador
Suburban Kids With Biblical Names – #2 – Labrador
the London Suede – Stay Together – Nude
Suede – s/t – Nude
the London Suede – Dog Man Star – Nude
Suede – Coming Up – Nude
Suede – Trash – CD1 and 2 – Nude
Suede – Beautiful Ones – Nude
Suede – Lazy – CD1 and 2 – Nude
Suede – Filmstar – CD1 and 2 – Nude
Suede – Saturday Night – CD1 and 2 – Nude
Suede – Electricity – CD1 and 2 – Nude
the London Suede – Headmusic – Nude
the Sugarplastic – Bang, the Earth Is Round – DGC
the Sundays – Blind – DGC
Superdrag – Regretfully Yours – Elektra
Sushi – The Quiet Space Between Houses – Shelflife
Sweet William – World of Books – Shelflife
Sweetness – Ashtray Floors – CBK
Le Tigre – s/t – Mr. Lady
the Trash Can Sinatras – I’ve Seen Everything – Go!
the Twilight Sad – s/t – Fat Cat
The Tyde – Once – Orange Sky
Unarmed Enemies – s/t – Songs I Wish I Had Written
Unrest – Isabel Bishop – 4AD
Laura Watling – Early Morning Walk – Shelflife
The Windmills – Sunlight – Matinee
The Windmills – Walking Around the World – Matinee
Would-Be Goods – Emmanualle Beart – Matinee
2004 Teen Beat Sampler
Little Darla Has a Treat for You Vol. 16 Spring 2001
Aperitivo: una recopilacion de canciones de Siesta (1996 Siesta Records compilation)
You Make Me Smile Shelflife Records Collection

Crazy amount of CDs for sale!

Oh my God, there are so many CDs!!!!! And I have so many bills to pay!!!!

Should you want any of these and send money to me, either by personal check or Paypal, I will mail them to you. Email me first at rsdchen@gmail.com

They will be $3 for the first CD and $2 for each additional CD. No charge for shipping in the United States. I’ll do international shipping at cost.

10,000 Maniacs – Candy Everybody Wants – Elektra
10,000 Maniacs – You Happy Puppet – Elektra
10,000 Maniacs – The Wishing Chair – Elektra
10,000 Maniacs – Hope Chest – Elektra
Acid House Kings – Do What You Wanna Do – Twentyseven
American Analog Set/White Magic – Songs of Hurt and Healing – Tylenol
the Beautiful South – Everybody’s Talking – CD1 and 2 – Go!
the Beautiful South – Pretenders to the Throne- Go!
the Beautiful South – Dream a Little Dream- Go!
the Beautiful South – Rotterdam – Go!
the Beautiful South – One Last Love Song – CD1 and 2 – Go!
the Beautiful South – Prettiest Eyes – CD1 – Go!
the Beautiful South – Prettiest Eyes – CD2 – Go!
Belle and Sebastian – I’m Waking Up To Us – Matador
Belle and Sebastian – The Blues Are Still Blue single – Rough Trade
Belle and Sebastian – The Blues Are Still Blue DVD – Rough Trade
Belle and Sebastian – I’m A Cuckoo – Rough Trade
Belle and Sebastian – This Is Just A Modern Rock Song – Jeepster
Belle and Sebastian – Sing Jonathan David – Matador
Bis – The Secret Vampire Soundtrack – Chemikal Underground
Bis – Everybody Thinks They’re Going To Get Theirs – Wiiija
Bis – Atom Powered Action – Wiiija
Bis – Action and Drama – Wiiija
Bjork – The Best Mixes From the Album-Debut For All the People Who Don’t Buy White-Labels – Polygram
Blur – Girls & Boys – Capitol – American issue with 5 songs
Blur – The Universal – Food
Blur – M.O.R. – Virgin
Blur – On Your Own – Food
Blur – Song 2 – CD1 and 2 – Food
Blur – Beetlebum – CD1 and 2 – Food
Blur – Tender – CD1 and 2 – Food
the Boy Least Likely To – Bits of the Best Party Ever – Too Young To Die
Billy Bragg & Wilco – Mermaid Avenue (Part 1) – Elektra
Bernard Butler – People Move On – Creation
Cagney and Lacee – Six Feet of Chain – No. 6 (Dean Wareham side project)
Camera Obscura – Lloyd I’m Ready To Be Heartbroken – Merge
Catatonia – You’ve Got A Lot To Answer For – CD2 – Blanco y Negro
Catatonia – Bleed – Blanco y Negro
Catatonia – I Am the Mob – Blanco y Negro
the Charlatans – One To Another – Beggars Banquet
Churchbuilder – Microdancer – Shelflife
Churchbuilder – Patty Darling – Shelflife
the Clientele – Suburban Light – Merge
Elvis Costello and The Attractions – Get Happy – Columbia
the Crooner – Heaven Airlines – Shelflife
the Cure – Friday I’m In Love – Elektra
the Cure – Lovesong – Elektra
the Cure – High – Elektra
the Decemberists – Billy Liar – Kill Rock Stars
the Decemberists – The Tain – Acuarela
the Divine Comedy – Everybody Knows (Except You) – CD1, 2, and 3 – Setanta
Dressy Bessy – Pink Hearts Yellow Moons – Kindercore
Drugstore – s/t – Go!
Dubstar – The Elevator Song – Food
Dubstar – Anywhere – Food
Dubstar – Cathedral Park – CD2 – Food
Elastica – Stutter – DGC
Elastica – Car Song – DGC
Evening Lights – Landscape – Shelflife
the Fantastic Plastic Machine – s/t – Emperor Norton
The Flower Machine – Chalk Dust Dream of the Tea Cozy Mitten Company – Microindie
Franz Ferdinand – You Could Have It So Much Better – Domino
Free Loan Investments – Ever Been To Mexico?
Gene – To See the Lights – Costermonger
Gene – Haunted By You – Costermonger
Gene – Fighting Fit – Polydor
Gene – Where Are They Now? – CD1 & 2 – Polydor
Gene – We Could Be Kings- Polydor
Gene – Speak To Me Someone – CD1 & 2 – Polydor
the Groovie Ghoulies – World Contact Day – Lookout
The Guild League – Jet-Set…Go! – Matinee
Harper Lee – Everything’s Going to Be OK – Matinee
Harper Lee – Train Not Stopping – Matinee
the Hi-Fives – And A Whole Lotta You! – Lookout
the Housemartins – The People Who Grinned Themselves To Death – Elektra
James – Whiplash – Fontana/Mercury
James – Seven – Fontana
the Jesus and Mary Chain – Reverence – Def American
Jets To Brazil – Orange Rhyming Dictionary – Jade Tree
Kula Shaker – Tattva – Columbia
the Legends – Play It For Today – Labrador
Lilys – Everything Wrong is Imaginary – Manifesto
Lilys – Precollection – Manifesto
Looper – Ballad of Ray Suzuki – Jeepster
Lovejoy – Who Wants to Be a Millionaire – Matinee
the Lovekevins – Max Leon – Songs I Wish I Had Written
Low – Christmas – Chair Kickers’ Union
Lunchbox – The Magic of Sound – Magic Marker
Manic Street Preachers – Everything Must Go – Epic
Manic Street Preachers – A Design For Life – Sony
Manic Street Preachers – If You Tolerate This Your Children Will Be Next – Sony

I’ll have even more listed next week.

My father

Yesterday morning I stood shin-deep in seawater on the beach in Milford, Connecticut, dropping fistfuls of my father’s ashes in the Sound. I watched all that’s physically left of my father wash away in the water and sand. It became suddenly clear to me that that’s all there is when a life ends, and it is very right and proper to send ashes out to become part of the natural world again. I’m not sure anymore whether an Afterlife exists, but it’s comforting to know that at least my father is being returned to the sands and the sea.

I am resting at Ara’s apartment in Baltimore today, and tomorrow I return to Chapel Hill. I have an urn with the rest of my father’s ashes with me. I will keep it until I can go back to California, to add him to the beaches there that he loved so well.

And now I’m selling my clothes

Here – http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/basilgildersleeve

Tell yr friends.

Thoughts while staring out the window of the Marriott

If I were to live within sight of the interstate, I would like to have a bed as comfortable as this, sheets as white as these are, pillows piled high for me to rest my head upon, and a window with glass as wide and thick as that one is so that I could see the cars streaking by but not hear them.

This is where I live

This is the video for a new song by local band the Kingsbury Manx. It’s the sweetest thing I’ve seen all day. There are lots of babies in strollers and dogs on leashes in the video, and there are people walking around and watching live music outside. It’s really very lovely, and watching it reminds me how nice it is to live here.